The Hip Hop Watch

My faithful readers, I know it’s been a while since I posted here on my blog.  But you’ll be pleased to hear that I kept myself busy bending former Source editor Kim Osorio over my desk.  She needed a place to rest her teary eye when she left the magazine and filed her lawsuit against everyone’s favorite nemisis.  However, I’m here to say that I am in complete support of Mayes.  Many of you may not know this, but it has always been a well known fact that this individual banged all the rappers she could get her hands on.  While I have no evidence to ascertain this, I’ve heard rumors throughout the industry that her kid is the illigetimate child of a well known rap star.

Anyway, I find the whole lawsuit against Mayes and The Source ridiculous.  The Source has regularly employed women at the magazine who have held executive positions.  Osorio, Mimi Valdes, Tracii McGregor.  All these ladies have basically run the magazine for years.  I hope Mayes has his day in court and he reveals to the world Kim’s sexual exploits with these marginal celebrities.  She’s probably embarassed that she gave the Ying Yang Twins anal sex. 

I also find it amusing that Jeff Chang, Joan Morgan and Elizabeth Mendez Berry felt the need to stick their heads into something that isn’t their business.  I read their comical petition to stop sexual discrimination at The Source.  This is coming from three unimpressive writers that always begged The Source to give them work.  Like a good friend of mine said, everywhere you look, you find these people.  Open a bag of potato chips, there’s Jeff Chang.  These kind of writers are so hungry for recognition, they’d hop on the bandwagon and have a petition if someone sued Vibe for discrimination against midgets.

Anyway, I look forward to seeing the results of this case.  I think this will be a fun and dirty fight that observers like us will enjoy          

As you all have probably heard, hip hop’s biggest liar is now staring down the barrell of a 20 year jail sentence.  A Manhattan jury of her peers–and no, they weren’t wearing Chanel or Gucci–came to their senses and convicted the loud-mouthed star of perjury and conspiracy but let her go on the obstruction charge.  I was hesitant to post this morning since I knew that people would be weighing in on this ever so important issue in world news. 

People’s reaction to this conviction are amazing.  Fans outside the courthouse were brought to tears and others were blaming a racist criminal justice system for this travesty.   Well, Kim’s supporters need to rethink their position.  This decision not only reinforces the fairness of the American jurisprudence system but also is a much needed slap in the face for the hip hop community. 

The Lil’ Kim circus is one of the first, in recent memory, publically covered and exploited perjury cases.  The results tell us a few things.  First, a mature and sane society will not stand for blatant and offensive lies at any level.  Lil’ Kim thought her money, Grammies and fake breasts would get her over.  But the people of New York City deflated her ego and showed her that no, she is not above the law.  Furthermore, rappers now must start living within the laws that dictate polite society.  Publicists and magazine editors alike have aided and abetted these lies and deceipt for many years now.  Maybe the Manhattan DA’s office should consider sweeping indictments for the staffs of XXL, Vibe and The Source for perjury.  They’ve lied about the quality of albums and conspired with labels to get us to buy drivel that fills up our CD cases and are never listened to.

But, the lies will never end.  Vibe will tell you that Mobb Deep is still hardcore when they don fur coats with 112 in videos and sound particularly sweet.  The Source will continue to promote Made Men is the greatest group to ever record an album.  And of course, Elliott Wilson and his XXL ilk will continue to talk their endless shit about how great their magazine is even though he, as an educated individual, told the New York Times that he "ghettoizes" his articles.  But don’t worry folks, The Hip Hop Watch has its sites set on magazines next.

Anyway, take your kids outside and get some fresh air.  Ride a bike, take a stroll on the beach.  The streets are much safer now that Lil’ Kim is headed to the big house.      

Over the past few weeks, we’ve all been witnessing the joys of rap stars on trial.  I find myself tossing and turning at night wondering if hip hop’s shrunken Pam Anderson, Lil’ Kim, will actual be able to hold her own in the clink.  Will they provide her with phone books so she can sit at the cafeteria table with the big people?  What happens if a fat dyke wants to make her her bitch–will she have the strength and fortitude to shank her in the knee caps? 

Lil’ Kim certainly faces a lot of challenges on the inside.  But there is still a chance that she will get off scott free.  Many people people have expressed to me and also on Kim’s website that this case is a waste of taxpayer dollars and that there are more important criminals to prosecute instead of lying Lil’ Kim.  I disagree.  I think Lil’ Kim should face the full wrath of the United States legal system.  There are a few reasons why this makes perfect sense.  First, Lil’ Kim lied to a federal grand jury that was investigating the shootouts that took place in 2001 at New York’s target range and hip hop radio station Hot 97.  She told prosecutors that her manager, and shoot-out participant, Damion Butler was not at the radio station when the events transpired.  No one is allowed to lie to the government.  And it’s pretty obvious that the prosecutors aren’t impressed with her C-list celebrity she worked so hard to get by kneeling down in front of The Nortoious BIG.   

Lil’ Kim also should do jail time for wasting her fans time and hard earned money.  This third rate pip-squeak hasn’t put out a good album since "Hardcore" came out back in 1996.  While "Hardcore" will never be on the level of other stars with actual talent, Kim certainly benefited from Biggie’s ability to write a decent lyric.  I always wondered if he rested the notepad on the top of her head?

Another interesting development that has come from this trial is reintroduction of Kim’s gaggle of non-threatening failures Junior MAFIA.  Should they still be called Junior MAFIA by the way?  I caught the news one night and they showed a picture of Lil’ Cease coming out of the courthouse after he testified against Kim.  It looks like his failed career has driven him to spend many a long night munching down day old fried chicken and cheap beer (with his record sales, I doubt he’s buying Christal).  Regardless, her "entourage" has turned against her.  Aside from Cease, Antoine Spain, aka Banger, testified that Butler accompanied him and Kim to Hot 97 the evening of the shooting.  Don’t be surprised if you see these guys begging for quarters on the subways in Brooklyn.

Anyway, the trial is nearing it’s conclusion and I’ve been on the edge of my seat.  Should she go to prison, the world will unfortunately be deprived of more riveting work like "Bella Mafia."  Keep your fingers crossed,  Till next time….                        

As we all know, 50 Cent and his protege/boyfriend The Game got into a lover’s quarral that resulted in a shooting at New York City’s most unlistenable hip hop music stations Hot 97.  I happened to scanning the channels and heard the whiny voice of Funkmaster Flex introducing 50 and G-Unit for their nauseating freestyle.  I really want those 5 minutes of my life back.  Anyway, my girl came in to report that there was a shooting at the radio station and I half wondered if Tupac was still alive and someone came to finish the job.

Well, as we all know, The Game squeezed off a few rounds from his pea shooter and scurried away.  Cut to a few days later–The Game was "outted" as the shooter and the couple rushed to Harlem to hold a press conference that culminated in a beautiful photo in the NY Post of 50 giving The Game a big kiss on the cheek.  It’s funny, The Game actually had a coy smile on his face and seemed happy to be back in 50’s arms. 

The reasoning for the shooting is unclear at this point.  Many news sources report that The Game was angry that 50 broke up with The Game.  However, other sources ran stories speculating that this was a publicity stunt to sell records.  Elliott Wilson, editor in chief of XXL, which we all know means about as much as a homeless man sleeping on the F train, told The Associated Press:  "It helps him obviously in terms of exposure. You can’t ask for better promotion. Now he’s literally making history by beefing with his own artist," Wilson said. "This is more the boss of the clique dismissing his own artist."   Maybe Brad Pitt should start showing up to The View or The Tonight Show and pop off a few rounds to promote his next big flick.

Anyway, the duo made amends by donating $253, 000 to the Harlem Boys Choir.  In all seriousness, is this what the hip hop industry has come to?  These successful and wealthy artists should care enough about their own community to donate the money to underprivileged children out of the kindness of their heart and the desire to give the black community hope.  But, this is par for the course.  The only way these stars will part with a dollar is if they can get a nice tax write off or they are buying a nice diamond necklace or ring to compliment their pretty outfit.  I’m sure the accounting firm of Stein & Baum were behind the curtains of the press conference preparing all the appropriate papers.   

So, three cheers for 50 and The Game.  I feel like I can sleep better at night knowing that they rekindled the flame that once brought them together.            

Welcome to my blog.  I’m creating this blog out of my love and hatred of the hip hop music industry.  Many years ago, I graduated from college and had big dreams of working in the industry that defined my childhood.  And I accomplished that dream.  With my romantic ideals in hand, I dove into what many would consider a dream job in the hip hop music industry.  Well, what I discovered was a sea of nepotism, glad-handing, backstabbing and negativity.  Publicists protect their artists at all costs.  The establishment of hip hop magazines take a party line approach to their articles, no matter how often they tell you they have an exclusive story or are exposing the truth.  There is no truth anymore…until now.

After years of working through, and observing this behavior, I’ve decided that the fans who spend their hard earned dollars on the latest CD or newest issue of The Source are being railroaded and robbed by unscrupulous people who have, for some reason, become the powerhouses of urban culture.  Why do we gladly hand Russell and Kimora Simmons our money?  Why do we buy Vibe–once a well known, fashion oriented, limp wristed editor took over, the revolutionary magazine became Vogue for the rap listener?   

This blog is being created for everyone who wants the truth.  The views expressed here are my own.  You may agree and you may disagree, and that’s what I want.  Furthermore, I want readers to become involved in this site as much as possible.  Post responses, views and experiences.  Furthermore, if you have tips, rumors, or little known information you want exposed to the world, e-mail me and I will include it in one of my many postings.  You will remain anonymous, as I am.  I am making this a safe site where people can express their joys, and their hatred of what goes on externally and internally within the world of urban culture.  Anyone is welcome to contact me at:  hiphopwatchblog@yahoo.com.  So prepare yourselves finally, for some truth…