Is There Room in Rikers for a Midget?
Over the past few weeks, we’ve all been witnessing the joys of rap stars on trial. I find myself tossing and turning at night wondering if hip hop’s shrunken Pam Anderson, Lil’ Kim, will actual be able to hold her own in the clink. Will they provide her with phone books so she can sit at the cafeteria table with the big people? What happens if a fat dyke wants to make her her bitch–will she have the strength and fortitude to shank her in the knee caps?
Lil’ Kim certainly faces a lot of challenges on the inside. But there is still a chance that she will get off scott free. Many people people have expressed to me and also on Kim’s website that this case is a waste of taxpayer dollars and that there are more important criminals to prosecute instead of lying Lil’ Kim. I disagree. I think Lil’ Kim should face the full wrath of the United States legal system. There are a few reasons why this makes perfect sense. First, Lil’ Kim lied to a federal grand jury that was investigating the shootouts that took place in 2001 at New York’s target range and hip hop radio station Hot 97. She told prosecutors that her manager, and shoot-out participant, Damion Butler was not at the radio station when the events transpired. No one is allowed to lie to the government. And it’s pretty obvious that the prosecutors aren’t impressed with her C-list celebrity she worked so hard to get by kneeling down in front of The Nortoious BIG.
Lil’ Kim also should do jail time for wasting her fans time and hard earned money. This third rate pip-squeak hasn’t put out a good album since "Hardcore" came out back in 1996. While "Hardcore" will never be on the level of other stars with actual talent, Kim certainly benefited from Biggie’s ability to write a decent lyric. I always wondered if he rested the notepad on the top of her head?
Another interesting development that has come from this trial is reintroduction of Kim’s gaggle of non-threatening failures Junior MAFIA. Should they still be called Junior MAFIA by the way? I caught the news one night and they showed a picture of Lil’ Cease coming out of the courthouse after he testified against Kim. It looks like his failed career has driven him to spend many a long night munching down day old fried chicken and cheap beer (with his record sales, I doubt he’s buying Christal). Regardless, her "entourage" has turned against her. Aside from Cease, Antoine Spain, aka Banger, testified that Butler accompanied him and Kim to Hot 97 the evening of the shooting. Don’t be surprised if you see these guys begging for quarters on the subways in Brooklyn.
Anyway, the trial is nearing it’s conclusion and I’ve been on the edge of my seat. Should she go to prison, the world will unfortunately be deprived of more riveting work like "Bella Mafia." Keep your fingers crossed, Till next time….
